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These are more like pastoral bloopers rather than bulletin
goofs…but they are just as funny.
And With You....
In our Anglican Church, each service begins with a greeting. The officiating
clergyman says, "The Lord be with you." The congregation used to respond by
saying, "And with thy spirit." But, with the modernizing of the liturgy, the
minister now says, "The Lord be with you." and everyone responds with, "And also
with you." One Sunday a visiting bishop went to a church where the sound system
was known to be old and unreliable. As he approached the microphone, he tapped
it several times and finally said, "There's something wrong with this!" Without
hesitation the whole congregation answered faithfully, "And also with you."
---From Peter's Pearls at http://www.peterspearls.com.au
Pomp And What?
A few years ago our choir did a Christmas Cantata at our church. On the evening
of our first performance we were all lined up outside the Sanctuary waiting to
march in to the opening strains of the overture. Our Pastor wanted us to march
in time with the music so his final instructions were as follows: " Everybody
march in like you did at your high school graduation. You know, Pomp and
Circumcision." We all broke out in a fit of laughter and it took several minutes
to regain enough composure to march in.
--Lee Taylor
On Leadership
On Pastor Appreciation Day one of our deacons was speaking for a few minutes
about how he appreciated the pastor. He related that it was a tough job being a
leader and explained that it was like a flock of migrating geese. The lead goose
forming the point of the flying-V formation works the hardest because he was
"breaking wind" for all the other geese! And all this time I thought the geese
were just honking as they flew overhead! A few of us caught the blooper and
chuckled, the rest looked bewildered or attempted to not show they caught the
funny!
Dinner Death
Our church would have a chicken dinner to raise money a couple of times a year.
One Sunday there were beautiful flowers at the front of the church. I mentioned
that they were given "in memory of Frank Wilson who came to our chicken dinner
last week and went home and died." I did not mean to infer that he died from
eating the chicken, but that's the way it came out.
---Wayne Hogue
Tongue Tied Pastor
I walked into the high school Sunday school class before it began one Sunday.
One of the gals had just finished a starring role in her high school play the
night before. As someone who tries to be a thespian myself, I wanted to
congratulate her. "It's so good see a great lessbian, a lez.. , a lessspee, a
...." By this time my face was so red and everyone was laughing so hard I gave
up and walked out.
Crazy Minister
A local pastor asked his sexton to post the title of his sermon on the signboard
outside the church to read "Are Ministers Crazy?" Not hearing this as a
question, the sexton posted, "Our Minister's Crazy" much to the amusement of the
community.
--Ron Owens at The Funny Pharmacy
Weight Loss Hymn
We had just had a "Weighdown Workshop" and many people in our church lost
weight. During announcement time we congratulated the participants and made a
big deal out of their weight loss. It was about that time we all realized there
had been a typo in the bulletin item just below it. Instead of listing "I Am
Thine O Lord’’" the bulletin listed the next song as, "I Am Thin O Lord."
---Angie
[These items come from Pulpit Bloopers, copyright 2002 by Sermon Fodder
Ministries (www.sermonfodder.com) and were compiled from contributing members of
the Sermon Fodder List. Please leave this attached if you forward to friends. If
you'd like to join the Sermon Fodder drop an email note to:
Sermon_Fodder-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.]
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